Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
