THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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