so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
