soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
