I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
