he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
