this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
