Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
