we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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