yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
