May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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