hotel room ftw
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
