I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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