The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
