Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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