Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
