I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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