you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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