3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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