Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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