I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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