I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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