So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
my shit smells like andre
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
