I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Ladies don't puke and tell
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
