got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
