You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
