Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
