your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
