I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Randomize
