nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize