oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
