That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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