i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
