We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
