Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
