my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
