So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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