Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So drunk its hurt
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize