guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
