Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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