About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
How external is "for external use only"?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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