No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
