the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize