I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
