I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Houston, we have a blender
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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