no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize