If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
