Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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