Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
