I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
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