The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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