We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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