I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize