I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
