i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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