ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize