He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
