Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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