just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
