I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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