So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I woke up under a house in Key West
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