So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
