she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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