Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
