either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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