Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
