discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
