I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
