Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
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