Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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