you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
