She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
