it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
