You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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