I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
