I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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