I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
